Do you love fully? 

Do you love fully?  Because I don’t.  Ok, I love my dog and my best friend effortlessly and completely but other than that, I haven’t yet developed my capacity to fully love anyone else.  I even withhold loving fully my amazing romantic partner whom I do love and adore very much.  I do this because I’m still working out the tensions between having an “I” in the “we” or how to be loving even when I’m angry or how to heal from wounds from the past, whether from childhood or last week.  

The more I learn about what love really is, the more I see I have all kinds of barriers to fully expressing and being the love that I am.  Because folks, love is huge. It’s everything.  And it’s terrifying.  

Love is so big, so all encompassing that we are afraid it will consume us. We are afraid we will no longer be an “I” or that we’ll lose it once we find it or that we will have to sacrifice in some way that will cause too much suffering.  And yet, all of us, because we’re humans, long for love.  This constant tension between the longing and the rejection creates barriers to love.  

So to love fully requires the will to let love be the driving force for everything you do. How you related How you talk. How you drive. How you clean. How you work.  Even how you say "no",  stand up for yourself or leave a relationship.   Love isn’t just a feeling. It’s an action that continually expands our hearts and our development so that we become who we really are.

I know some of you are rolling your eyes. You’re shaking your head “no” to love because love has really hurt you in some way. You’ve decided or unconsciously allowed your heart to stay closed because it’s just too painful to take the risk.  Or that love is too squishy and soft.  You have things to do and accomplish!  And you’re certainly not going to “drive with love!” Have you seen Denver drivers lately??   I get it.  No problem.  But it won’t take away the longing that will inevitably keep knocking at your heart’s door. 

I’m beginning to see love more clearly.  It’s a daily and life long effort to crack my heart open- to be fearless in love. I practice gratitude, appreciation and compassion.  I’m seeing love all around me in ways I’ve never seen before.  I’m being more loving and the circles around me are too.  Love is growing so much inside me I feel like my heart will burst sometimes.  And yes, I'll hit a barrier.  I'll get scared for some reason and I'll close my heart a little or a lot.  But I'm committed to letting love be sparked in me.  Will you let it spark in you? 

If you want to learn more about love, join me in the Spark Love group where we will deep dive into all of this, including how to love with boundaries, how to love yourself and how to act in loving ways.  Also Brainspotting is a great way to heal old wounds around love so you can love more fully!

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